


It is over, isn't it?

by escapemyshadow



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Back Together, Insecure Kuroo Tetsurou, Kuroo Tetsurou-centric, M/M, Male Character - Freeform, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, Tsukishima Kei maybe come off as a bit jerk, kuroo needs love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-07-28 05:13:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16234874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escapemyshadow/pseuds/escapemyshadow
Summary: “Tetsu, if you step out of this house, we are over.”“Maybe…the ending with you is getting further away.”[ Aged-up Au: Tsukishima and Kuroo supposed to be happily together except they weren't. After suffering silently, Kuroo was tired and left. Everyone especially Bokuto was protective of Kuroo. Akaashi was trying his best to bring those two back together but Bokuto was in the way. Tsukishima regretted a lot and desperately needed a second chance. And Kuroo just want to be happy but can he be without Tsukishima? ]





	1. [Your far-far away shadow still lingered around me]

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! I am back after god knows how long! Again, please look out for bad english and ooc-ness! Came up with a story after Kenma speech on how Kuroo was actually shy and withdrawn child during their younger days. I just need more fics on loving and protecting Kuroo because he is precious. And I need more fics on Tsukishima to be the one on the move! Tags may change accordingly! Hope you enjoy the story!

_“Tetsu, if you step out of this house, we are over.”_

_The cold and heartless words pierced through his heart. He chuckled bitterly as his head had fallen slowly, refusing to meet the other’s glare. He breathed in shallowly, trying to keep all his tears in. How many times has he cried over him? How many times has he swallowed his pride and give in to the younger? How many times has he felt so paralyzed by his unfazed attitude? And…how many times Kei has to take to know that he himself, is just as same as him, was just an insecure human and wanted to be loved._

_“I am tired.” He muttered. Tetsurou wanted to be as loud as he could be, but, understanding the impact of those words may hurt the younger, he still loved him very much._

_“Turn around and look at me.”_

_Tetsurou tried and tried, but his legs would not move. He was just a few steps away from the door. All he needs was to be brave and walk a little bit further down, and maybe, just maybe he thought he would be free. He wanted to break down and crouch as small as possible. He didn’t want to face anyone, not to Kei, not anymore._

_“I can’t...”  He heard him scoffed. He couldn’t take this anymore. Tetsurou turned around and looked straight in his eyes. Both of his eyes were red and shimmering with tears yet they held no emotions._

_“Tetsu…I am just frustrated.” Tetsurou hitched a breath, smiled as a tear slowly made his way down his pale cheek, and said something he knew it would haunt him forever._

_“Maybe…the ending with you is getting further away.”_

~~~

Kuroo widened his eyes as his hands clasped around the white sheet tightly. He could feel his cheeks were wet but he was not sure if they were sweat or tears. He hated this kind of morning the most. The nightmare woke him up, instead of his supposedly alarm. But he couldn’t make himself move. He felt something has tied him down and his body was as heavy as an elephant. He was getting better but a nightmare like this, made him doubt his whole existence all over again. His phone started ringing. It was supposed to be noisy and annoying. However, he felt as though it was just a breeze, his mind refused to cooperate with him. He closed his eyes again, hopefully, this time round, he wouldn’t have to open.

“Is it a bad day?” Kuroo could feel his head nodding slightly and soon, a sigh could be heard.

“You know, no matter what, you still have to get up right? Never underestimated routine. Get up now, and you will go through the day as usual.” He felt a pat on his head, “I promised your favourite breakfast, didn’t I?”

Kuroo looked up and smiled, “You are the best, bro.” Bokuto flashed his famous grin and went out to the kitchen before turning around and threw Kuroo a towel.

Soon enough, two of them were having their breakfast on the table. Bokuto was happily chirping away his adventurous dream while Kuroo listened quietly. Of course, Bokuto could feel the other wasn’t even really paying attention.

“Hey… is it the same nightmare again?” Kuroo’s surprised face gave him away, leading Bokuto hunched his back a bit, “Same ending?”

Kuroo looked away while biting his lip, refusing to answer.

Bokuto pressed his lips together, not wanting to pressure Kuroo and decided to change the topic. “What is your shift today?”

“Afternoon shift.”

“I guess you will be doing closing then. I will be visiting Akaashi later and probably not be back till tomorrow afternoon.” Kuroo hummed in response. “But! If you need me to be around, I can just cancel on him! I mean…er is Akaashi! He will understand!”

“There is no need to.”

“Oh! I know! Kenma! I can ask him to come! Anyway, Im sure he will be playing his game as usual!”

Kuroo chuckled softly, “I am feeling better! Don’t worry, bro. And Kenma told me that he will be out on a date with Hinata.”

“What?! The shrimpy?”

“Yes, yes.” Kuroo slowly but steady clearing his last mouth of pancake and clearing the mess, “Come on, you don’t want to be late right? I will help you wash.”

Bokuto offered him a grateful smiled before being waved off.

~~~

Nobody told Kuroo that it would be this hard to forget first love. First love never last. He has slowly and bitterly accepted this truth. He has given up his degree on law, just to support Kei’s passion on the path of being doctor. Nobody told him that no matter how much he has gave up, sometime something just not meant to be his. Ever since, he stepped out of the door a year ago, and heard the door slammed harshly behind his back, his knee buckled and fell to the ground. He would never forget how much he has hoped for the younger to open the door and chased him down. Does he just not worth the effort? He remembered he walked down to his best friend’s house with just a thin cardigan and loose jumper. He remembered he sobbed hard before Kenma could even make a sound. The whole night was shaking with his cries and screams. The next morning, Bokuto turned up without any notice, (well Kenma notified him) and looked at him angrily. Till now, Kuroo wasn’t very sure if the anger was directed to him, or the mess he got himself into. Before long, he shifted his place into Bokuto’s which located at the nearby outskirt of Tokyo. Ever since then, he has lost all the contact with Kei and it has been a year.

With his education, though Bokuto insisted that he could support Kuroo in pursing his law degree, which he declined. He has given up once, so he felt that he doesn’t deserve to have it. In the end, he chose to work in a bakery shop, which is ten minutes’ walk away from his and Bokuto’s house.

The chiming sound from the bell rang softly across the cool wind, as the door swung opened, Kuroo smiled and greeted.

“Hey! Can’t believe we are working the same shift today!”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You have the schedule right?” Kuroo packed his bag away and took out his work apron and tied it around him.

“Awww…don’t be so cold. I am just happy to work with you!” Jericho whined.

“You better don’t slack off while Kuroo working his ass off!” Boss’s voice ran across the quiet shop, startling both staffs.

“Yes, yes!” Jericho mocked a saluted pose.

The boss quickly distributed their roles to them, instructing them what they have to do for the day. Apparently, Kuroo and Jericho were stuck being cashiers.

Maybe it was because it only half past one and not to mention, a Tuesday, there wasn’t any soul in the shop. Kuroo ended up cleaning the counter instead.

“Do you mind if I ask you a question?” Kuroo raised his eyebrows, indicating Jericho to continue, “I heard from Bokuto-san that you were once assistant accountant in a law sector. What makes you come here?”

Kuroo tensed up but soon, he let go slowly, “I quit. I decided that I would like to see more of your face so I came here.”

“HA! Very funny!” Jericho pouted, “Did you commit some crime? Or ran into troubles? Owe people’s money?”

“No, no and no.”

“Then what is it?”

“Running away from a person.”

If it was few months back then, Kuroo knew he would just avoid this question. But after a year, Kuroo had said it. He has been hiding in his heart for so long, and today he felt like maybe enough is enough, he needed to let it go.

“A bad break up?” Jericho sensed that Kuroo wasn’t going to answer him so he pressed on, “You know…everyone can tell that you are sad.”

Kuroo turned around swiftly, and looking bewildered.

“What? Do you really think we don’t gossip?”

Kuroo laughed and shook his head, “Didn’t know you all were so busybody!”

“Well…nobody dare to ask. So here I am.”

“Decided to be the hero?”

“No. A friend.”

“Are you sure you aren’t just being curious? Want to know why such a person will ended up in a bakery shop?” Jericho looked defeated at being exposed.

“Alright, yes you are partially right. But you have been here for almost a year! Of course, we are worry for you too! You always have this sad aura around you.”

Kuroo shifted and looked directly at his work partner. “Tell me how you let go of someone who have hurt you badly?”

Jericho looked stunned by the question, and stuttered, “What-all of the sudden?”

“If you teach me, maybe I can be happy for once.” Jericho thought for a long moment. 

“Embrace it.” Jericho hugged himself tightly, “Embrace it and face it. You can’t just throw the hurt away…after all those feeling are precious isn’t it?” He let go of his arms, and smiled towards Kuroo, “Not wanting to be rude. But you still love that person right if not you wouldn’t be suffering after so long. Is that person worth fighting? Is that person worth the second chance? Ask yourself that.”

Jericho took in a deep breath, “Sometime, no matter how much you get hurt, you will find yourself wanting to be in that person’s life. Because you know you belong there. But at the same time, can you find your happiness there? You have to be happy in order to give happiness? You need to love yourself in order to give love, isn’t it?”

Kuroo could tasted his sour taste at the back of his throat. His nose somehow chose this timing to be clogged up.

Is it why Kei was never happy with him? Because, he himself has busily making sure that Kei is happy that he has actually neglect himself. But….Does kei worth second chance? Does he still have the courage to get his heart break again? But most important question of all….Does Kei still loves him? Kuroo wanted to continue his negative train of thought but cut off by an annoying screech. 

“OH MY GOD! I DIDN’T WANT TO MAKE YOU CRY! DON’T YOU DARE TO CRY!”

“Idiot! Who say I am crying!” Kuroo could feel his embarrassment slowly creeping up.

“THEN WHY ARE YOUR EYES AND NOSE TURNING RED?! Liar!”  

“Shut up, asshole!”

“SOMEONE IS GETTING MOUTHY! Oww! Why you are hitting me?!”

As Jericho was rubbing his head while complaining, Kuroo suddenly felt himself smiling. Maybe at Jericho's stupid face or maybe he has slowly learn how to embrace it. 

Even though, Kei’s shadow was still lingering around him, he somehow was still able to feel a bit warmer.

~~~

Bokuto ran up breathlessly and into the nearest ramen shop, scanning for his Akaashi before raising his voice, “I am sorry!!” Akaashi looked up from his book and smiled beautifully, shaking his head saying that it was alright. Bokuto pulled out his seat and plopped his ass on it.

“What happened? Usually, you wouldn’t run this late.”

“Kuroo.”

“Is he alright?” Bokuto brushed his slightly messy hair frustrating and answered, “He is too proud to admit that. He has the same nightmare.”

“Ohh…” Akaashi was too well known about this so-called nightmare, as for a few times during his stay over, he had actually had first hand experiences with Kuroo. His heart clenched firmly. He wondered he should really brought this up as for once, he actually scared he might anger Bokuto.

“So babe, have you decided what do you want to eat?”

“Kou.” Bokuto was still looking at the menu and scanning here and there, “Kou, listen. It is important.”

“Why do I get a feeling that I might not like what I am going to listen?”

Akaashi stared at Bokuto deadpanned, causing Bokuto to grin, “Alright, go on. I am listening.”

“Umm… Is about Tsukishima…I-“

“Okay. Topic ended. I don’t like it.”

“Kou, don’t be childish! Listen first!”

“Whats there to listen! No one get away from hurting my bro! He is lucky that he is still somehow considered my half-friend.”

Akaashi scoffed at the term “Half-friend”, only Bokuto would be childish enough to even think of such thing.

“He talked me again.”

“If he is too annoying, you can tell me. I will scared him away.” Akaashi was debating if he want to hit Bokuto or rolled his eyes, and he decided to be civilized so he chose the latter part.

“He looked horrible. And-“

“Well, I don’t want him to look good while my bro is still a mess.”

“STOP INTERRUPTING ME OR ELSE IM THROWING YOU OUT OF THIS DAMN RESTAURANT.”

Bokuto huffed like a five year child who just lost his toy to another child. Akaashi sighed before continued, “He begged to know where Kuroo is. And before you start talking, I never tell him the place. Don’t you think they have been suffering long enough? It was so obvious that Tsukishima still in love with Kuroo! You can’t tell me that you don’t believe that! You have eyes! And you know Kuroo still loves him! So whats the matter?”  

“Babe…listen. I am not sending my bro back to hell.”

“Maybe. But right now, do you think he is happy?”

“Happier than before.”

Akaashi groaned innerly at his stubborn boyfriend. He would never blamed Bokuto for being so protective of Kuroo after what had happened. But someone needs to take the job to think reasonably. He just hope he could at least get Bokuto’s approval.

“Kou, both of them are suffering. You know how Tsukishima is! He was never the one who voice out his feeling and he was so bad at it. But right now, he was professing his love out loud.”

“Well he should have do it in the first place!”

“Well Kuroo should also voice out his insecurities too!”

“Don’t you dare to put everything on Kuroo! You were there too during those nights! How that jerk broke him!”

“Babe, I’m not trying to push the blame, neither do I am siding Tsukishima. I want both of my friends happy! Tsukishima isn’t doing any better!”

“Do you really think they will be happy if they get together? If that jerk is still going to be like last time then I rather Kuroo stay with me!”

Bokuto placed his hand over Akaashi’s and rubbed gently, “I really don’t want to get angry, babe. Today is our rare off day. Let’s drop this topic.”

Just then, Akaashi knew he has to do something but not right now. Soon but not now. 


	2. [I foolishly adjusted to you and its torturing me, making me lonely till the end.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! Finally finished chapter 2!  
> I have changed the title! "How long" to "It is over, isn't it?" Just think that the current fit better?  
> Warning: Bad english and probably OOC!  
> Please please read the tags! If you dont like this kind of story (more bias to kuroo, I am sorry), please dont read. Never want to upset you.

“Do you want to practice together?”

A small but sincere question has spurted an everlasting friendship between Kuroo and Bokuto. Back then, when they were only the first years, no one would expect the two boys from different school would become friends. One simple practice game turned out to an exchange of number, soon meaningless texts and emojis were filled up with their inboxes and slowly short meet up here and there. They were surprised too, amazed by how much they were able to connect with each other and their loud attitudes kept each other amused. They have the competitive streak between them, till now, they still challenge each other with the lamest things. And one of the many similarities they have shared strongly would be they care deeply for each other.

So no one blamed Bokuto’s emotions when he saw Kuroo that night.

Rage. Despondency. Petrified.

Bokuto couldn’t think or feel at that moment of time. He stood rooted on the ground, seeing his best friend cried and clutching tightly onto another close friend of theirs’ shirt broke his heart. He has never see Kuroo behaving like this before. Kuroo was strong and rarely let them see this side of him. That’s when he finally realized something.

Kuroo was broken. Someone broke Kuroo.

He made small but steady steps towards the pair. All he knew that he wanted to make the pain away but he was clueless as to how. He slouched down and hesitantly moved his hand near the shaking figure. However, a jerk from Kuroo snapped Bokuto and he withdrew his hand back instantly. He glanced Kenma and received a shake instead.

“Bro…” He slowly breathed out the words, but Kuroo was way too deep in his self-created hell. He was not even sure if Kuroo knew he was there, right beside him. He mouthed to Kenma, /What has happened?/

Kenma bit his bottom lip and seemed to struggle his answer out, “Love.”

Bokuto was confused but he decided that all his unanswered questions would have to leave till next morning. He spent the whole night staying next to Kuroo with Kenma, not leaving an inch. Kuroo only fell asleep after many hours of crying. But Bokuto couldn’t sleep at all, was hugging the unconscious body, afraid that if he would to let go, Kuroo would disappear.

The next morning was the worst. Kuroo glanced at both Bokuto and Kenma, not saying a word but stood and moved on to wash his face. Kuroo was surprised to even see Bokuto was here. Bokuto felt the anger rising when he heard Kuroo asking him, “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Damn. Where would I be when you are hurting this much?”

“I am fine.” A twitched at Bokuto’s eyebrow.

“Bullshit.” Bokuto moved up and seized Kuroo’s shirt. They played rough all the times, hitting and kicking one another and after that they would laugh away as a joke. This time was the same, Bokuto’s eyes flared up, pulling Kuroo nearer to him, for a moment Kenma wanted to step in.

“I was here the whole night! Hearing you crying out loud and if you are going to tell me you are fine one more time, I’m punching you.”

“I broke up with Kei.” Bokuto was thinking that maybe there was some fights between the two of them, but one would never thought it would be so serious that they broke up.

“Wait…what?”

“Me and him. Game ends.”

“What…I don’t get it? Wait, did he did something? Do I need to find him and ask or you will tell me?”

Kuroo’s red and teary eyes widened, immediately waved his hands frantically, “Don’t find him. I ended it.”

“Don’t lie.” Bokuto scoffed, “You love him way too much to end it. And if you end it, why are you crying so much?”

Kuroo smiled helplessly, “It doesn’t matter anymore.” Bokuto wanted to press on, but Kenma held on to his arm, signing to stop. The next sight terrified Bokuto the most. The face that Kuroo expressed seemed so hopeless and aimless.

“What are you going to do now?” the quietest one suddenly voiced out.

“Move out and move on.” Kuroo breathed out those words, as if they were very strange and new, “Oh. Please don’t tell Kei where am I too? I doubt he would ask though.”

“Then where would you be living?”

“With you.” Kenma tsked a bit at the answer, “How convenience for you to say that.”

“You wouldn’t throw me out right?” Kuroo suddenly clinged on Kenma’s arm, “At least until I find a new place.”

Kenma shook Kuroo off, “You are heavy.” Kuroo let out a small grin and for once the tensed atmosphere seemed to lighten up slightly.

“Don’t worry. You have me, Kenma and Akaashi!!” Bokuto spread out his palm and placed on Kuroo’s shoulder, “You will be fine!”

“I think so too!”

That was when Bokuto thought Kuroo might be actually move on, all he needs were his friends. And, you can bet it that Bokuto would be there every step and soon enough, Kuroo would be fine on his own.

How wrong was Bokuto.

The next few months were a disaster. Who told them it would be easy to fall out of love. No one.

Ignoring his texts. It was the first sign. Bokuto didn’t really paid much attention to it. He thought Kuroo might need more time and he didn’t want to cling onto Kuroo when he wanted to be alone. He regretted badly. If only, he has be there for him like what he has initially planned. Maybe, Kuroo wouldn’t fell this deep.

Maybe…

 _“You need to come over.”_ A text from Kenma had him dropped down whatever he has been doing and rushed off.

He opened the door, a deadly drunk Kuroo was hanging off the couch, threatening to slide off and hit the floor. Kenma stood aside, looking as annoyed as ever.

“Yosh. You are here…” Kuroo slurred the words, “Why…though?”

“You are drunk.”

“I am going leave this for you.” Bokuto raised out his hand and stopped Kenma, voice laced with worry and panic, “No! Don’t! I don’t know what to do.”

“He has been drinking off his ass ever since…that night…I don’t know how to help. He didn’t really want you to know…but I couldn’t help him…” Kenma looked down, guilt flashed across his face. Bokuto’s heart clenched tightly, “I…it is okay. You must be tired. I will take care of him.”

Kenma looked up to Bokuto and nodded slightly.

Bokuto turned his head over and looked at his best friend. He sighed deeply, wondering how long would this night take.

“Let’s go to bed.” Bokuto tried to pull Kuroo up, grunted quietly, forgetting how heavy Kuroo actually was.

“No…I don’t want.” Kuroo shook Bokuto off, “I still want to drink! Drink with me!”

“No.” Bokuto glared, “You had enough. Off to bed now!”

“No!” Kuroo had officially slide down the floor, and currently lying flat and refused to move an inch, “I am not moving! Drink with me!”

Childish. Annoyingly childish. Bokuto couldn’t help it but felt that the scene was amusing.

“Sit up straight.”

“If I…” Kuroo slowly turned to his side, and curled up, “Don’t want.”

“Bed would be nicer.”

“It is alright.” Bokuto decided to settle down beside him, and pat on his back silently.

“Do you want to talk?” Bokuto offered, “It will make you feel better.”

No answer. Bokuto closed his eyes, and continued to pat Kuroo quietly.

The night was long and quiet. Not long after, a snore could be hear and that’s when Bokuto’s shoulder went slacked. Kenma came out with two blankets, covered Kuroo with one before passing the other to Bokuto.

“It wasn’t the first time.”

“I am sorry. I didn’t know.”

“I thought…he just needed a drink. I didn’t know when he starts to lose control.”

Bokuto tried to muster a smile, “Its okay. We are here for him now. He will get better.”

Kenma nodded and walked off to his bedroom. Bokuto turned around and stared at the quiet body, silently doubting his own words.

One drunk night turned into multiples. Promises were made and broken. Again and again.

Bokuto was always happy-go-lucky guy. He could be an emotional person but seldom, he would got angry. However, tonight would be the night.

He was royally pissed. He was disappointed.

What was right in front of him, was another usual sight- drunk Kuroo. He wouldn’t be so pissed off at this but Kuroo had promised that he would at least try to get out more often, and stop hiding in Kenma’s place. He promised that he would cut down drinking. And Kuroo rarely breaks promise. He hates how Tsukishima changed Kuroo into someone whom he wasn’t fond of.

“Kou…”

“WHAT ARE YOU NOW?” Bokuto bellowed out, stepped forward, wanting to grab a hold of Kuroo’s shirt but was stopped by Akaashi.

The only plus point currently would be Kenma was not in. Kenma has assumed that Kuroo would be out with both Bokuto and Akaashi. Kenma was never fond of loudness. He might even want to punch Kuroo.

“Are you an alcoholic now?” Kuroo was smiling lazily and waved his half-emptied bottle, “Why? Do you want to join me?”

“You this piece of shit!” Bokuto clutched his hands angrily, “Do you know how long we have been waiting for you? You promise me that you will try!”

“Promise?” Kuroo laughed coldly, “What’s that?”

“Don’t try to play dumb with me right now!”

“Kou…stop.” Akaashi has been trying to fit in between, but he found it hard when there were a livid Bokuto and an indifference Kuroo.

“Of course you wouldn’t! You are in this happy bubble with Akaashi! You know nothing at all!” Kuroo scoffed.

“This isn’t about me!” Bokuto pushed Akaashi’s hand off, and went ahead and grabbed Kuroo’s shirt while yanking him up in the process, “It is about you!”

“It hasn’t about me…” Bokuto looked down and all he could saw was a heap of messy hair. “It will never be me. It was always you!” Kuroo continued to look at the floor.

“What are you talking about?” Bokuto gasped, feeling utterly absurd and confused, “You are drunk.”

“I am not…” A small mumbled.

“What?”

Kuroo glared up, eyes were blood-shot. “I am not drunk!” Bokuto grimaced at his bitterly breath, “I wish I am drunk but I am not! No matter how much I drink, it still hurts. Right here is still hurting.” Kuroo pressed a finger at heart, “It is still…lonely.”

Kuroo looked over to Bokuto and Akaashi and eyes glistening with tears, “Why…”

“Bro…”

“Tell me why?”

Bokuto wanted to insist that he knew nothing but was hushed by Akaashi. Akaashi paused his lips together, before having tongue roaming around them, making the ever dry lips a bit wet. “Listen to him. He is venting. Guide him.” Bokuto looked at Akaashi, feeling bewildered, “But how?”

“I don’t know. Use your brain.”

“You are so helpful.” Bokuto received a pinch at his side.

Bokuto looked at Kuroo who was looking lost and helpless, he wished he has an answer but he would never know what Tsukishima was thinking. He didn’t want to create more sadness.

“Let it out.”

“You always said I am annoying with my overly affections. Now you want me to let it out.” Kuroo staggered backward, “I don’t understand you.”

“Me too.”

“How could you not?” Kuroo barked, “It has always been you! I tried so hard. But no matter what, you wouldn’t let me in! I love you so much but… you love yourself more. Why wouldn’t you love me? Why?”

Bokuto’s heart was trembled with sorrow and even though the words weren’t really directed to him but hearing Kuroo spoke with such raw emotions killed him. “We need to stop him. I don’t think my heart can take it.”

“No, Kou. He needs to let it out.” Bokuto wanted to chide Akaashi for not thinking of Kuroo and him but when he saw his face, he was stunned. Akaashi was well-known for being expressionless but the watery eyes told him otherwise. 

“Bro…”

“No! You listen! I haven’t finish!” Kuroo screamed and had Bokuto immediately raised both of his arms, showing that he surrendered. He forgot Kuroo was dramatic but right now he was dramatic and drunk so it would be worse.

“I foolishly adjusted to you and it’s torturing me” Kuroo breathed out before slumping down on the floor, “Making me lonely till the end.” He hugged himself tightly, “Even now…it is still lonely.”

Bokuto couldn’t control himself anymore, he rushed forward and took Kuroo into his arms and rocking him silently. He had no words to comfort, because nothing would work unless the person who broke him is here. But Tsukishima is not.

“I love you…still loving you, Kei.”

“Sleep…I got you.” Bokuto kept whispering, “I am here. You are not alone.”

That night was the worst yet.

Bokuto would say Kuroo was improving but slowly. He still had his drunk outburst once in a while, refusing to eat but stay in the bed the whole day, or he would just stood near the balcony’s window without a word. But he was never alone. Sometime, Kenma was there or Akaashi would be there. But Bokuto would always be there. All the time. He worried that if he didn’t looked over Kuroo carefully, Kuroo would actually slipped away. And of course, Kuroo was being dismissed from his workplace. How could he not when he didn’t turn up for almost two weeks without any notice.

“How long are you going to behave like this?”

Today was one of Kuroo’s rare good day, he didn’t really want to break it now but Kuroo couldn’t waste his life away, doing nothing.

“What do you mean?” Kuroo still staring at the television while eating his chips.

“When are you going to find a new job?” Seeing the other one was quiet, he continued, “Please tell me that you do know you have to get out of here one day.”

“…Yes…”

“Great. Tell me your plan now.”

“You know I never page you as a responsible adult. Usually I am the more responsible one.”

“Well…” Bokuto scratched his head, feeling annoyed, “Someone wasn’t doing his job well!”

Kuroo sighed, “I don’t know what I can do.”

“Go and find some similar job? You don’t even have to go for the interviews. All you need to do is at least look over some jobs, I would be happy.”

“Oh? Someone get happy so easily?”

“Yes.”

“But…I don’t want to go back to offices.”

“But I thought you always wanted to work in an office?”

“I guess not anymore?” Kuroo shrugged, “I just don’t want to step out from the house.”

“You shit. Don’t get so lazy! Think for Kenma too! Small kitten taking care of a big kitten!”

“I am…afraid…”

Bokuto walked towards him and plopped his ass beside him, “Of what?”

“…”

“Bro…if you don’t tell me, I can’t help you.”

“I don’t want to see him.” Before Bokuto could respond, Kuroo continued, “I know! The city is so big! But stepping out of this house means one step closer to him. I don’t want.”

Bokuto sighed. It was going to be hard before an idea popped out.

“How about you stay with me?”

“You mean your house? The one at small outskirt out of Tokyo.”

“Yes! You will never see him at there! He is training to become a doctor, isn’t it! He wouldn’t have a chance to visit that kind of place!”

“Erm…”

“Come on, bro.” Bokuto pleaded him, “At least give it a thought. You can find some jobs over there! It isn’t like a city so there are only a few companies or you can just work at café shops or something!”

“Alright…”

“Wait. Alright to give it a thought or alright to staying over with me?”

“Both.” Kuroo beamed and looked at Bokuto seriously, “Bro, thank you so much.”

Bokuto slapped his back hardly, feeling bashful.

That afternoon, two of them started packing his stuffs, it wasn’t really a lot to begin with.

“Bro…” Kuroo glanced over Bokuto and waited for him to continue, “Believe me, it is a new beginning!”

And true enough, Kuroo was getting better. Bokuto started to feel confident. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and make me the happiest writer! I know I am not good but I can accept all the negative too! Erm..maybe not too harsh but oh well, I just hope yall have enjoyed!


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